Losing the Race

11-25-24

Why so much discussion on race? Why must I think about it every day? Because I live it every day. And you, and everyone else, does too. (Whether you realize it or not.) To me, racism is not just sayin' words to each other. That's more of a side-effect. To me, racism is a global system that favors one group over another. 

To understand race, learn who put it here and made it an issue. Not me. Not you. None of us had a choice. It was the government, from day one, that put a race on your birth certificate. It was the government that makes you fill out what race you are on the census and ever since a kid in school, you had to "pick a side". Back when I went to school, there was no "pick all that apply" or "other". It was pick one. 

If you think we're all the same. Yes. We're all united in this world and we're all together in this country, even if we feel divided. If you were stranded overseas, guarantee, you'd clique up with the fellow American, no matter what he or she is.

At the same time, each group has the right to be proud and happy of their heritage, culture, and traditions. And they should keep those going and represent it no matter who may like it or not. If we were all the same, would there be different hair products? Just a simple example. Not better, not worse. Just different.

Race is really an illusion, because it's not even based on skin color. We know some Latinos are dark, others are light. Same with Asians, Black, and every race, even White. So what is it really about then? That's what I'm trying to discover in my research. Research online, reading books, and listening to lectures and music, and research just living life. So instead of race, we really just have different cultures. And every culture should be respected and recognized. They should be able to co-exist with every other culture, both interactively and independently, without changing if they don't want to.

Old school hip hop was very pro-Black and the white fans had no problem with it. Only today, we've been brainwashed to think pro-Black is anti-white, or racist. We're told today not to talk about race, or we'll go backwards or make it worse. Without discussion, we can't even know how to fix it. Everybody experiences racism, whether they realize it or not, and most are afraid to realize it. (It's like taking off the rosey, happy, "we all love everyone" glasses.) Some ignore it by choice, and others are so accustomed, they're broken down to accept it like it just is what it is. Nope. Not me.  I took off the rosey glasses, and I got on my "They Live" glasses.

Why is Black Lives Matter the only pro-Black organization that a lot of whites have no problem backing? Because it causes no threat. They "matter" is the lowest compilment you can give. How about "they're important, or awesome, or anything, but "matter". How about Black lives are Kings and Queens. Black Lives are Gods. (Ye are Gods in the Bible, if anyone thinks that's blasphemous.) And if that is their message as a counter-culture, "they matter", is that really saying the bigger message in America is that they don't matter. Who said that? It's reverse psychology.  How many White homeowners with Black Lives Matter signs would let a random Brother in their house? (I want someone to try this.) Pro-Black groups have been around forever and I don't see a lot of people marching toward them. More like marching away. Affiliated with Nation of Islam? Nope.... Who do you think stopped the East Coast West Coast beef? You think it just stopped out of nowhere? Farrakhan gathered the major players in hip hop and just like that, it was squashed. Instantly. What other group can do that? That's why it makes people nervous. An Organized, educated Black man is more of a threat to the white man's dominance then any street thug or gang without proper positive guidance. 

And we can't even blame other races all the time. First we must better ourselves as individuals, then second the group you affiliate with as your own racial identity. We often criticize other groups and ignore or justify actions of our own to benifit our own image. They think if they call out someone from their group for being wrong, it makes them wrong by affiliation. No, its wrong if you don't regulate your own, because they're going around representing you. And it doesn't have to be public if you don't want. Sometimes its better to handle it in your own setting. This is a wake up call to everyone. I say the things people think, but don't want to say. I have nothing to lose. I have no race to turn on me. I'm already in my own world. 

Racism is so established in every aspect of the world, where people are so used to it, and maybe don't even know it's going on. The way its set up, our own racial groups are the quickest to tear each other down. White people don't have to consciously or activly participate and it's alive either way. It's like a parasite on society, eating away at everyone's soul. We need to kill it at the root.

Understanding your racial background is the key to break through this barrier. Learning genetic history connects races.  All races have traces of other groups, so really we're all mixed. It's highly unlikely there's a "pure" anything  today. Whites have black and brown hair. Where did that come from? Asians have afros. Africans have squinty eyes. They're not as separate as you think. How did my Grandparents, a light skin Puerto Rican Russian guy and a yellow Japanese lady have two dark skinned children? Because black genes are dominant. Even if they are physically dormant for generations, they can re-emerge. The next generation, my cousin, sister, and I, all came out light. Maybe next generations will be darker. Doesn't mean it's not in your genes. 

The first Japanese were Black and the old Samuari saying is a "True Samurai Must Have A Drop Of Black Blood." Puerto Ricans are mixed Black, Taino, and Spanish. Even my dad's side - his dad English, Irish mom. (Altho his Grandma on his mom's side was an orphan, so it's hard to trace that side back that far.) My Dad said he had red hair as a young kid growing up, so I think it's obvious where that comes from. But in my research, I learned even the first Brits and Irish were black, and red hair is from central Asia. Again, proving all racial groups have traces of different genetics, from when people were traveling regionally and settling, mixing, and creating new "races" of people. So unless you're pure blonde hair blue eyes, you're not really white - (I'll take their one drop rule established in America and use it against them), and even the white man came from the original Asiatic Blackman, so face it. Fuck Nazis, but see who they really looked up to. Swastikas are from India, an Asian Black nation. Aryans are really from Iran and later went to India, (and are actually from Mars aka Ares) but that's another story...

Being so mixed, it's a gift and curse. I can go into different groups and "kinda" fit in, but I never reeeaally fit into one group. This lack of racial identity has allowed me to be a person  first, but sometimes that's not enough.  Overall, it's made me relate to the Black community. Being someone who's never accepted in their own homeland. Looking white, I get funny looks sometimes from some people in certain settings I'm in, and other times , white people have looked at me funny for no reason. It's very common for people to snub me if I say hi while takin' a walk thru my neighborhood(that I've lived in longer than them.) or get followed thru a store. Secret shoppers you're my number one fans, the way you follow me all the time. I can't go shopping without anxiety anymore. It's very in and out, no looking around or they'll think I'm stealing. I used to love browsing. One time, the cashier told my sister, while I stood to the side reading a newspaper, "that guy looks sketchy." "That's my brother", she replied. "Oh." No sorry or anything like that.

"Well, you look sketchy." said my sister later. How? What did I do exactly? Funny, I wear the nicest clothes in the store, but they think I'm gonna steal. Maybe they can't comprehend that I have nice things and actually payed for them. Maybe my clothes are too baggy? Doesn't seem a problem for the fat slobs in baggy pajamas. I wear a bandana. I'm a gang member. White dude wears a bandana. He's just a hippy, or maybe a construction worker. Jersey and a hat = thug. Other guy - a sports fan. 

I even have to see how my niece at only 4 has to deal with it. I don't bring it up to her, and she doesn't know yet, but I see it. Being my sisters genes (same as mine), plus her father Black, Native American, Scottish (I think), she's really mixed. So I see it. Like when she goes to pet the dog being walked by the white people and they pull the dog away, saying "their dog doesn't like kids". Looked friendly to me. Maybe it doesn't like a certain kind of kid. Or maybe they don't. My neice went to say hi, to the little blonde girl at the pet store. Same thing.  The parents shielded their kid like it really was an angry dog attacking. This made their kid scared and put that into the kid from a young age. Not eveyone is like this. My neighbors across the street have no problem with anyone playing basketball at their hoop. Thier white kids play with black kids and asian kids and everyone. But just because you and others aren't racist, it doesn't mean it's not going on. It's something I experience too often. Most of the time, when I'm in a good mood not thinking about it. That's what bothers me the most. I could have the most positive, productive day, and something. Just something, will remind me we're not all equal. Either personal experience or observation out in the world.

I've gone to bars in Oregon. Where the Black girl was kicked out for "taking the attention away from the dancers." Not doin' nothing but sitting at the bar having dudes buy her drinks. Is it her problem she's really what the guys want? Other times, its the old white lady who's the nicest person I talked to all day. Other times I get the one at the cashier that has a problem with me for no reason, but was very polite to the customers before and after me. This has happened to me with Black and Latino cashiers too. Did he treat me weird because he saw me as white, or because we hate on our own first? He was very nice to the older Black and White couple after me, but did not say One Word to me the entire time, so I don't know.


Sometimes, white people know right away I'm not "one of them". I see their eyes scanning to compute race, but I confuse them. I think I've been asked if I was every race more than once. Other times, they think I'm white, until the way I naturally act offputs them. Sorry I don't talk "proper" like them. In Hawaii, my family at the gatherings all say "Wow, you speak very good English". It's all perception. Some races just talk different. Different tongues even, literally. Japanese can't roll R's, so they become like L's. Spanish roll their R's with no problem. It's genetic.
Different cultures are embedded in our DNA. Japanese, other Asians, and other cultures too don't like too much eye contact. It can be considered aggressive in men and seductive in females. Meanwhile, in the good old USA, if you don't maintain eye contact, it can be perceived they have a problem with you or low self-esteem, making it seem like something is wrong. As much as I try, most of the time, I can't look people in the eye for too long. It feels like an invisible knife stabbing my eye. Or like I'm looking too much in their soul. I don't like it.

My Dad is white, but growing up, it is was never encouraged to lose your different ethnic traditions. When we didn't eat dinner as individuals watching TV, we ate dinner together on the floor, traditional Japanese style. We kept the local Hawaiian and Japanese theme the main culture of the house, but that's just naturally what it was, so its not like it was forced our tried or anything. It just was. He was also into different music. Rock and roll mostly, Jimi Hendrix, Santana, Beatles, and Rolling Stones just to name a few. But also deep south blues and jazz. Spanish music. South American flutes. Hawaiian music. I remember coming home in his truck and he's listening to the Native American music on the radio. (It used to scare my sister, not sorry just true.) He even speaks Spanish, somethin' my Puerto Rican family doesn't even do.

So... We need to stop fighting amongst races. Brown vs Black, Black vs Yellow. Yellow vs White.... But first, we need to first stop fighting within races. Dark skin vs light skin. Rich vs poor. Old vs young. North vs South. Red vs Blue. East vs West. Democrat vs Republican, yeah I said it. 

 
Japanese will say they're not Asian because they're not on the mainland of Asia. Many Asian naturally think they are better than the other, but in the US, we come together and all that doesn't matter (to most at least). An Asian guy at the dispo handed me 3 bucks and said "Here's 3 on that one, try that one..." I know it was because he saw me as his own. As bad as I felt for taking 3 bucks from someone that I don't need, it felt good to know someone has your back like family, and I don't even know him. Every race should support their own like that. I can't hate a white guy for supporting white things. Just don't hate on others. I can say overall I've been accepted in the Asian community, Black community, Latino community, and even amongst white people (Usually music related tho. Music is cool like that.) So, I only talk this out of love and hope to change for the better. Sometime I wish I didn't say it. Or at least I wasn't the one to say it. But it feels worse holding it in. The best solution, is fix all the problems, then I'll have nothing to talk about anymore, but music.
As people, we all need to help each other. Don't feel bad to help your own first tho. When all groups are regulated, then we can join together. Until then, its a big mess. A blob of people trying to get along, but don't really know how unless its being a generic version of oneself. We can be ethnic at home, but let's "tone it down" in public. Na, fuck that. Turn it up in public. Make people uncomfortable. Because it's only the secret racist who have a problem anyway. I think a lot whites are usually the ones afraid to talk about race, because they have the most to lose. Other races don't want to upset the white people and have them possibly make it worse for them. The ones who are cool won't mind. Just be respectful about it. Other times, you gotta shake it up, but make sure it's the truth and that's all that matters. 

Life is perception. So your opinion is your reality. Don't let someone tell you what you live.

Being mixed is cool too. Its like you can take a little bit of everything. You don't have to "choose sides" like America makes you. But don't reject one side either.  Embrace all of what makes you who you are. Some people may think mixed couples may "lighten" a generation, but it's actually "darkening" the white half. Dominant genes. Eventually, the whole world will be Black again. Whether you want it to or not. Nature will take course. And best part, nobody has to die either. Just keep making babies.


We all share genetics and the human origin. If you learn to appreciate each culture and get to know where it all started, then you realize we have a common connection. Until then, we're all separate. 

Oh and Monday today, so I'll put up some mixtape tracks later. Don't think I'm not focused on music, I'm taking a studio break to be one with my thoughts. It's really all you have.
Ending the year with a mixtape dropping soon. PHIL4RIL.COM - The Mixtape. followed by original project STILL 2024RIL.
New episode of 4Ril 4TheRadio - out tomorrow (Tues. 11-26)
No radio scedule means I can do it whenever I want. (Ahhhh feels so good and relaxing. Back to making music and mixes when I feel like it.) Now its even more because its for me and not for someone else. This is all benefiting me, and its fun again not listening to NO ONE!
So some weeks, I may do more mixes. Don't think anything is ever less than before. I can only increase the flow more. Get ready 4 the flood.